I don't want to look at the stars

by Kara's Walk Home

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about

After over a year of toil here is our debut album...!!!!!! What else to say... I wrote a lot in the liner notes for each individual song so check there. It's been a struggle to get this thing finished, but here it is...!!!

Thanks to everyone who has been interested in this from the beginning, and especially to the rest of the band for all your hard work and for being fun and good to be around, thanks I love you!!!

credits

released November 10, 2015

William Gibbons- guitar/vocals/some piano here and there/trumpet/bass
Rob Duffy- guitar/mixing/mastering
Brittany Scheffler- Piano, backing vocals
Vi Cao- bass
George Venegas- drums on 2, 3, and 9
Hector- drums on everything else
Murray- dog collar shakes, barks

Special thanks to Polly, Char, Jami, Pedro, Amara, and Jackson for joining us to do the group vocals on bad feelings very loudly in the parking garage in the Glendale Galleria. I'm glad no one yelled at us

album art by William Gibbons ashwara.tumblr.com

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about

Kara's Walk Home Los Angeles, California

Emo... we're here for the feels

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Track Name: American Soccer
My legs are failing fast and I know
I can’t come back here

Trying to kick the ball but I go down
Down down down

I don’t what I’m gonna be when I get old

But I wont be running fast
as these slow legs now


I’m gonna be faster than
you’ve ever seen me before

There’s no one that’s got
Big dreams like mine

And Johnny asks, "Where am I gonna be when I get old?"

And I don’t know but the field’s all I've got now


And I’ve never seen a goal
in 13 years

But May 16th was so hot
and no one showed up

I ran faster than
you’ve ever seen me before

But if I look inside I know I’d
rather stay home

I’d rather just stay home

Slowly
the gaps begin to show
and I can’t catch up

I’m sitting
on the sideline
Waiting to go home

I worked hard
but they wont put me in
and I can’t score
I’ll never score

I see him smiling
with a winning goal
I guess I’ll go home

Surely not every foot placed in a field
is meant to be great

I’m not slow I’m not fast
not too weak or strong
but I cannot compete

Surely it’s healthy
too take a step back
but I still want to try

There must be some meaning
for losers like me and

I...
don’t wanna...
die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And Johnny says, "Don’t worry,
you’ve still got me."

"Not everyone’s gotta be the best
to find some meaning"

And I’m sitting in my bedroom
studying flash cards

I won’t turn the lights on ’til the sun’s fully

DOWN

DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN
Track Name: Escape from the City
Sun rises and the day begins
Walking through these old memories of

College and love and
When I hoped for so much more but

it's been a few years since I did anything new here

and I guess it wasn't all that bad
I just gotta stop saying "sad"
I just gotta keep moving
I'm just thankful you like me

I grew up here but it's been a few years
how strange it feels when a place is so familiar but it's

More like a museum of the past
why do I still call it home?

And I guess I just placed so much hope on
the things I started here but
I just moved them somewhere else let's just
hope the soil takes and

We’ve been moving slowly for a while
Looking at our peers, we keep comparing
but Walking here in cambridge could be enough
But i know I’ll be flying back on Sunday

Sun rises and the day begins
Walking through these old memories of

College and love and
When I hoped for so much more but

it's been a few years since I did anything new here

And I guess I just placed so much hope on
the things I started here but
I just moved them somewhere else let's just
hope the soil takes and

You’ve been living here for a while
is it where you want to be or is it for you mom?
We don’t have to get anything done
for our lives to be worthwhile

We’ve been moving slowly for a while
I stayed up til 4am watching lets plays
and you’ve collected way too many things
I hope you’ll start a script someday soon

I haven’t lived here for a while
I’ve made so many friends I truly love
but every time I write a story
featuring best friends, it’s based on you

Heeeeeeey would you be there when i call
Would you be there in the morning
It’s been so very long
it’s been so very

I don't even know what's
gonna happen
to us lately I'm sorry for
Always talking loans but

being here reminds me of
when they weren't around
walking slowly the wind blows and
I feel more relaxed
Track Name: Stars Kids Home
Well I hope that the water’s not too deep
Maybe i’ll swim away from here today
I wish that my arms would never tire
And I’d go away and I’d never come back home

As the dollars go up the time goes down
And I’ll fill out that check one more time
And I’ll put off the language that I’d like to learn
Because this kid now takes up all of my time

I try to forget that you’re out there
we’ll both lives our lives hopefully happy
I wish that my heart could grow some legs
and get out of here
and just relax……………….

I’m losing breath
just sitting here
I’m starting to sweat
as I hear your screams from the hall

Just one more night
and I’ll feel love
I say to myself
BUT I JUST GOT LEFT WITH THIS!!!

See you Run in to my arms but it’s just
wind pushing against my chest
And I’m 30 years ago in the back yard-
trying not to turn away

These steps looks just like the ones we had back home
Where I sat and I waited after school
The sound of a car perks up my ears
but I look inside and once again I know it’s not you

A new kid came by and I showed him around
it felt a little nice to be counted on
but a few weeks later his mother came back
and again this week I didn’t get mail

The water’s cool, got my socks off
found Megumu by the bridge
stressed about her grade in Math

And I help her out
glad someone here wants my company
'cause I haven’t seen you in years

And I’ve been reading books about parents and kids
Sitting at home with their pets
their parents help them out with their science projects
and watch TV dramas ’til they sleep

so how are you
it’s been a while
glad you’re doing well
and I’m not so sure what to say

"I missed you."
"Well, I didn’t miss you too,"
but I know that’s a lie.
"I hope you felt you were free"

and we’re standing in the sun as it falls down
It’s just warm enough for the shade
And I see you from the side just hiding your eyes

Well, who know’s what’s right??????!!!!!!
Track Name: 4am again... that's fine
I waste
Hours at a time
yeah waste has become my life

And my dreams are just stuffed in the cracks
Yeah my dreams are just things I avoid

And some days feel like a coma
they're thick and white and opaque

And I come out and I wonder why I am
too lethargic to do anything

And I've sworn off drugs and alcohol
my whole life but what good has it done

If I can't live with an ounce of control
If I can't face what I know makes me whole

I can't think,
it just hurts
it just hurts
it just hurts
it just hurts
it just hurts

How can I turn up my nose at
hedonistic lives
If I spend my whole life squandering
my finite time away

Just one more time I say
as I go to check another site
just one more minute I say
and complain that there's just
no time
no time
no time

Hours spent discussing
what authenticity means
Redefining success
independent of your genes

As you sabotage yourself
Staying up 'til 2AM
You say just one more hour
and you'll stumble blind until
you die
you die
you die

You're nothing special
You're not unique
You're lacking something
Don't be so weak

You'll never know
if you don't focus
Where's your control?
Why don't you show us?

It goes on and on and on

You must think
even if it hurts
even if it hurts

You must think,
I am strong I am strong
And you must scream I am strong I am strong
AND YOU MUST SCREM
I AM STRONG I AM STRONG

I AM STRONG
credits
Track Name: Weekend! Party with your Friends!!!
wake up
don't break down
just get up
there's a life that you want
and you don't
have a lot of time

It's early
you've gotta go out
don't regret
staying up last night
unless you
plan to change something


'cause you don't
got a lot of time

and you'll go downtown this time today
don't be scared you've gotta risk it sometimes

i know it's safer inside

but you'll talk to someone today
don't be tired you've gotta learn things somehow

I know it's safer in the woods

Let's go out
get noodles
it's something
that I never had
living
back in the woods

It was nice there
It was quiet
I made my mind there
but I just stayed at home
though i did have
a lot of time

and I just
had a lot of time

Now it's gone but I've got something else
People that can take me outside
I can learn directly this time.

I'll miss those hours alone
in the field crying about East of Eden
But now I can see those people for real.

everywhere I go
i'm starting to miss
all the things that happened to me

everywhere I go
i'm starting to miss
all the places that I used to live

everywhere I go
i'm starting to miss
all the friends I used to have

everywhere I go
i'm starting to miss
all the people that I hardly knew

but no matter where you go
you can't get caught up
in anything that used to be

no matter where you go
you can't get hung up
on ideas of what could have been

so scream out my name
from across the whole city
I think I could hear it
if you yell loud enough

and I'll open my ear drums
and stretch out my neck
because it's hard to know where you stand
without some feedback

And I might be wrong about this
but I think that I can change

At the peak of my confidence
I had my delusions
I thought I climbed to high
and could not see the bottom

i was so alone that
the world lost it's meaning
But I just kept climbing til
I burst through the ceiling

and I might be wrong
but I think I can change

Sitting in the back seat
listening to a song that we love

though we heard so many times before
and I hope we hear so many more

And I've said too much about my self
and not enough about the friends who've helped me
thank for giving me your time

And not just in practical ways
like staying with you when I hardly knew you
just thanks for talking to me

So thanks for sticking around
I'll try to stick around here too
Let's go hiking sometime next weekend.
Track Name: Dry
Where's the old tree with the swing that your dad tied up
or the dog that kept you warm while you were cold

The trees here just don't look the same
as the walk home every day after school

And my crushes were no more than projections
From the books and the manga I read at home

And I was crushed when you started drinking
Because it made me feel a little more alone

Take your time,
and I'll be sure to take mine
Track Name: I'll Give It My All... Tomorrow
i've got nothing left
but the holes in my bones

where the ones i love have left and
i didn't fight

and the train car pulls away
far from the ones i knew

from 40 years of friendship and
letting down the ones we love

so i'm just gonna leave

and i'll leave the keys to them
with an extended note of thanks

for the bakery i opened
but you never got to see

i'll just stand here and stare at the trees
i'm too much of a coward to leave
they're back home waiting for me

I've got something left...
waiting for me!
i've got bread to bake!
and early mornings!

and maybe one day
you'll wonder who i was
you'll get your degree
and come back from overseas!

i'm just trying to keep
hope in my bones
Track Name: Summertime! Fun with Friends!!!
I can't say!
Where we'll be
Anyway

I can't say
where I'm going
anyway

I can't stay in one
place for more than
a year straight

I can't stay
here for
too long anyway


You'll be gone two weeks and
that can feel so long when you've

got no job and a
cat scratching at your front door

And one stray sound could
tear your whole life down

you'll be kicked out
so soon after you got in town


I wanted to die
on that 2am bus ride

I'm sorry for
making you run into that bush

reach out to the sea it's 100 miles away
but it reaches all the way to the place where you are

if I could get one touch I'd feel a little closer
and it might be kind of lame but I don't really mind

reach out to the sea let the water cool you down
maybe now you'll clear some space to feel anything at all

I never liked swimming but I like the idea
that touching the Pacific is like circling the earth

I know it's hard
for you to stay at home

It's a complex feeling,
but you've gotta go out on your own

So I wont say
you shouldn't go away

I'll understand
If you never want to come home

it's a little too hot to feel anything at all
but my dried out skin from cycling too long

Estonia seems nice i'd like to go someday
but Seattle seems a little less out of the way

and it's a little too hot but I'll get used to it
i can't let it stop me from smiling too much

so I'll reach out to the sea and quote songs that i love
and it'll rain at least once this year

I never cared for the summer
but for getting off school

But all the songs about the summer
colored it in my head

i remember sitting at my school desk
looking out the window

admiring the same tree every day
reminding me of home

(never ever, never gonna go back
to the place where you grew up

And if you do if you could ever go back it'll never
be the same)

But not everyone had that-
fond memories looking back-

of a home they were glad to grow up in
and to maybe go back

So if you wanna leave I don't blame you
I just hope I can come

i could even love the summer
if I spent it with you

(i never ever wanna come back home
this place just ties me up

to a person a don't wanna see
that I used to be)

Never ever never gonna go back
to the place where you grew up
And if you could if you could ever go back
it'll never be the same

I loved my home
but some times
you just gotta runaway

and make a new home
somewhere
somewhere far away

I hope we can
find a place that
we love someday

I don't know
where i'll go
but we'll make it anyway
Track Name: bad feelings ;^(
lie down in the woods where you cried for the first time
reading something you could love
for the rest of your life as you leaf through the pages

lie down in the bed where you stared at the ceiling wondering if you believed in God
wondering how to perceive the world now without Them

dig through the boxes of the books that you left with your parents and you’ll
read through lines you underlined and the words in the margins

walk around in the city where you lived for the first time on your own and you’ll pass
familiar places that aren’t yours anymore

i don’t want to feel this way but i’m jealous every time you say that
"this whole thing has changed my life" but I never had that kind of moment in my life

And I’m waking up
in the same place each day
and I’ll roll right out
look for some socks and shorts
and forget it soon enough

Faint smells: dirt and moisture
Playing soccer, or catch

I’m sitting in the front yard waiting for the world to open up

Paint smells, sights, and textures
oily glass from my nose

I’m standing in the back yard waiting for the world to open up

I feel dead when I see someone get the job they hoped for and I know
I want to be happy for them but it just kills me

And Rachel says she feels the same when people talk about their families, feeling comfortable at home
so I guess I don't have it that bad?

spend my life waiting for some email that will change my life for the better
go somewhere that will lift me up and over the hurdles placed in front of me

I go outside see the same streets that they do
squint from the sun
like everyone else
the sun doesn’t care at all

I’ve got work but I’ll stay up as late as I can
morning still comes
I’m still alive
Just barely
I can’t wait to go home

"comparison will kill you!" some business man says as he talks on his phone waiting for the 3 million donuts he ordered for him and his
business meetings that he has every Thursday. I've only been working here for 4 months but I've already memorized their patterns.

Sandy doesn't want to see anyone smile today. Her coworkers tell her about signing up for classes that she can't even think about anymore; it's been so long since she gave up paying her student loans
but every once in a while she throws in $20 just for fun.

Janice pulls out an old diary and reads about how angry she was that her father made them stay an extra week in New Hampshire in summer, 2003, she didn't want to look at the stars but to just go home she said.
Tonight she'll stay up late reading wikipedia entries about Shenmue and she wont regret it.

"It's better to stay awake until I'm dead tired than to be well rested and
spend all night staring at the ceiling, and besides, it's the only free time I have. The only thing I hate is waking up in the morning but at least I know that we're still breathing."

And I've been thinking
it's not too foolish...
My heart moves slowly...
My legs move slowly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!