bad feelings ;​^​(

from by Kara's Walk Home

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about

This song is about feeling like you aren't living the life you're supposed to be living, or watching other people you think are so much happier, and the schism between the life you want to live, the life your context demands you live, and the life you actually live. ETC!!!!

Shortly, it's about being sad and envious when other people can survive more easily than you.

I think everyone experiences feelings of envy but it's such a demonized feeling, there's this perception that you're a bad person if you feel envious of other people. But it's inhuman to expect each other to not feel envy. We might know that it's factually wrong that other people are happier, but that doesn't mean we can just stop feeling it.

So if you feel envy, be a little bit kinder to yourself and other people that feel it maybe. Just let yourself feel it and hopefully you can move past it someday.

lyrics

lie down in the woods where you cried for the first time
reading something you could love
for the rest of your life as you leaf through the pages

lie down in the bed where you stared at the ceiling wondering if you believed in God
wondering how to perceive the world now without Them

dig through the boxes of the books that you left with your parents and you’ll
read through lines you underlined and the words in the margins

walk around in the city where you lived for the first time on your own and you’ll pass
familiar places that aren’t yours anymore

i don’t want to feel this way but i’m jealous every time you say that
"this whole thing has changed my life" but I never had that kind of moment in my life

And I’m waking up
in the same place each day
and I’ll roll right out
look for some socks and shorts
and forget it soon enough

Faint smells: dirt and moisture
Playing soccer, or catch

I’m sitting in the front yard waiting for the world to open up

Paint smells, sights, and textures
oily glass from my nose

I’m standing in the back yard waiting for the world to open up

I feel dead when I see someone get the job they hoped for and I know
I want to be happy for them but it just kills me

And Rachel says she feels the same when people talk about their families, feeling comfortable at home
so I guess I don't have it that bad?

spend my life waiting for some email that will change my life for the better
go somewhere that will lift me up and over the hurdles placed in front of me

I go outside see the same streets that they do
squint from the sun
like everyone else
the sun doesn’t care at all

I’ve got work but I’ll stay up as late as I can
morning still comes
I’m still alive
Just barely
I can’t wait to go home

"comparison will kill you!" some business man says as he talks on his phone waiting for the 3 million donuts he ordered for him and his
business meetings that he has every Thursday. I've only been working here for 4 months but I've already memorized their patterns.

Sandy doesn't want to see anyone smile today. Her coworkers tell her about signing up for classes that she can't even think about anymore; it's been so long since she gave up paying her student loans
but every once in a while she throws in $20 just for fun.

Janice pulls out an old diary and reads about how angry she was that her father made them stay an extra week in New Hampshire in summer, 2003, she didn't want to look at the stars but to just go home she said.
Tonight she'll stay up late reading wikipedia entries about Shenmue and she wont regret it.

"It's better to stay awake until I'm dead tired than to be well rested and
spend all night staring at the ceiling, and besides, it's the only free time I have. The only thing I hate is waking up in the morning but at least I know that we're still breathing."

And I've been thinking
it's not too foolish...
My heart moves slowly...
My legs move slowly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

credits

from I don't want to look at the stars, released November 10, 2015

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Kara's Walk Home Los Angeles, California

Emo... we're here for the feels

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