I already put it in the credits, but Vi and I wanted to collaborate more on a song so she came up with an idea for the general dynamics structure, and the subject matter, and then we worked together to finish it.
I overheard someone talking, they said that
you took your brothers name
after he died and you left yours
Thanks for the eggs that you cooked when I was sick
Think i can say that much
Hey grandpa you look good in that suit
i finished high school, can you believe it?
so I walked in to your room
the sunlight reflected off your sheets
No one looks you in the eyes
as you struggled to make a sound
I can’t quite express all the things i regret,
my sister cried when i got her friends sent home
I held her in my arms as we got scolded in the hall
by my stepmom
but it was too late
I blamed my mom for the things my family said
it wasn’t her fault but she was the only one around
I’ve talked so much shit about the people i love most
so what does that say about me?
Fuck this shit! I deserve this
At cô Ly’s wedding, she made sure to have a speech telling
how sad she was that you already died
and everyone was crying as she danced with her brother
just like you and grandma
and I could hear my dad as your first family planned your funeral
and through the door he screamed
“Fuck him! He’s not done anything for us!”
And so, how could I come?
Do you know? what you left me with?
if I came to see you i’d be betray my dad,
There’s just no easy answer
you left my dad when he was just a kid and
your second marriage it was just so perfect
and you said it was ok if I did anything at all
just finish college first alright
Fuck this shit, should I have called more?
Don’t hold me back, I feel so guilty but all i want to say is just,
Fuck you, you just don’t, how complicated it be to just come and visit
but I would call, if I could, and tell you my life didn’t end up quite the way I wished
and I’ve got so many questions that I just didn’t care about when i had the chance
and just know, that all this time, I hear your words and I try to let go
I can’t forget it
I can’t forget it
You laid in bed, fucking god the sunlight’s so bright
And I could see every contour of your bones
And your hair was gone, but I remember,
and your voice was gone, But I remember,